House of Horrors, Part II
The photos that Amelia posted, while evocative, don't quite measure up to the experience of the house. A few details...
First, add to the visual mess a host of unpleasant smells. Returning home at night was always an adventure -- what would tonight's odor be? A teapot that hadn't been emptied and had been sitting there for weeks with mold growing in it? The cat urine on our shower curtain? Yesterday's meal stuck to the unwashed dishes? New mounds of potpourri that turned our eyes bright red?
And then add the sounds. Who would be shouting at whom? About what? For how long? How many vulgarities would we hear before the end of the evening? What time would loud noises begin again in the morning -- 4am or 4:30am?
But the pictures especially are an understatement because of the amount of cleaning that had been done pre-photos. When we arrived, entering the kitchen was literally impossible. Imagine anything the average person might own, and multiply each item by ten, then don't clean for twenty years, and you start to get an idea. Amelia and I finally decided we would have to clean the kitchen ourselves. We spent an entire day washing, cleaning, and throwing out (food items that had expired decades ago, the ten old toothbrushes piled up for cleaning that would never occur... but as the landlord watched over us, the juice that was supposed to have been refrigerated but had instead been sitting in the cupboard for months was returned to the refrigerator for later consumption, and the eight sets of storybook-character salt-and-pepper shakers that we had stashed away to make counter space were returned to their previous spots...). We managed to put away enough stuff that we thought we would at least have a small counterspace and be able to use the stove. Alas, the next day the evil kitchen fairy had magically returned the kitchen to its prior state!
This morning, we woke up in the apartment of one of Amelia's friends. There was light in the rooms, because there weren't piles of junk in front of the windows! There weren't termite holes covering the walls! You could walk in your bare feet across the rug! We weren't sneezing! It was easy to make a cup of tea -- you didn't have to wash the kettle and the mug beforehand, because they had been cleaned before they had been put away! We are happy indeed.
First, add to the visual mess a host of unpleasant smells. Returning home at night was always an adventure -- what would tonight's odor be? A teapot that hadn't been emptied and had been sitting there for weeks with mold growing in it? The cat urine on our shower curtain? Yesterday's meal stuck to the unwashed dishes? New mounds of potpourri that turned our eyes bright red?
And then add the sounds. Who would be shouting at whom? About what? For how long? How many vulgarities would we hear before the end of the evening? What time would loud noises begin again in the morning -- 4am or 4:30am?
But the pictures especially are an understatement because of the amount of cleaning that had been done pre-photos. When we arrived, entering the kitchen was literally impossible. Imagine anything the average person might own, and multiply each item by ten, then don't clean for twenty years, and you start to get an idea. Amelia and I finally decided we would have to clean the kitchen ourselves. We spent an entire day washing, cleaning, and throwing out (food items that had expired decades ago, the ten old toothbrushes piled up for cleaning that would never occur... but as the landlord watched over us, the juice that was supposed to have been refrigerated but had instead been sitting in the cupboard for months was returned to the refrigerator for later consumption, and the eight sets of storybook-character salt-and-pepper shakers that we had stashed away to make counter space were returned to their previous spots...). We managed to put away enough stuff that we thought we would at least have a small counterspace and be able to use the stove. Alas, the next day the evil kitchen fairy had magically returned the kitchen to its prior state!
This morning, we woke up in the apartment of one of Amelia's friends. There was light in the rooms, because there weren't piles of junk in front of the windows! There weren't termite holes covering the walls! You could walk in your bare feet across the rug! We weren't sneezing! It was easy to make a cup of tea -- you didn't have to wash the kettle and the mug beforehand, because
posted by Meg at 7:09 PM
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